I've now ridden a dozen times since taking it up again, 3 hacks, the Red Letter Day, and 8 lessons. After today’s lesson, I had two realisations, whilst not exactly life-changing, they have changed how I’ve viewed my riding.
Firstly, that I’m a better rider now than I was when I shared Oscar in my 20’s. When I started riding him I hadn’t ridden for about 5 years, and I only ever hacked him out, usually once a week. Given that he was spooky and took advantage a lot (despite being just 15.1hh!) my riding skills did improve over the time I shared him, but only in terms of ‘coping’ and dealing with his behaviour. In terms of position, aids, and riding correctly, I fear my bad habits just got worse.
I may even be better now than when I shared Arctic in my teens. I was a more regular rider then, as I was at the yard almost every day, and slightly more confident, but I was never the type who’d be out jumping 3’ classes each weekend. I worked out the other day that in my whole life, I’ve ridden about a dozen courses – a one day event (I won!), a showjumping class (2nd!), two classes where I was eliminated for jumping the wrong course, and a handful of tiny clear rounds. Whilst I’m not up for jumping a 2’3” course right now, I daresay it won’t be long until I could (if I was forced to!).
So it’s about time I stopped using the ‘rusty rider’ excuse. I’m not rusty any more; I’m just not very experienced. I’m currently riding 2-3 times a week, and I haven’t done that for 15 years, as I only had Oscar once a week. If I wasn’t rusty when I had Oscar, I’m certainly not now.
I do regret abandoning lessons too quickly. But I was 14 - clearly I knew it all, and had no need to stay at a riding school. I was ready to go out and share a horse, and there was no reason to continue learning anything. Hmmm.
If I’d even had the odd lesson after that, I might feel better about my abilities now. Today, Sarah told me to half halt before asking for canter. I felt most embarrassed when I had to ask her how, as although I’ve heard of a half-halt, I’ve never been taught how to do one, or when to use it.
But last Sunday proved to me that I am better than I think. Sitting on a forward going horse, the old me would probably have freaked out (and freaked the horse out too), but I was fine. She didn’t exactly play me up, but I felt perfectly capable of dealing with it if she did.
In terms of horse management though, I do feel very ‘out of it’, and that’s perhaps the missing piece. With Arctic, I spent every spare moment at the yard, and would usually do the chores for him plus all the others (it was a small yard). Oscar was DIY, so again, on my day, I did everything. Now, I get excited (as last Sunday) when I’m allowed to tack a horse up myself. It’s not quite the same, and simply riding horses is not enough for me.
The other realisation is that I’m trying too hard. The main reason I was disappointed with today’s lesson is that I was expecting too much. As I’ve continually been improving, I’ve continually been raising the bar as to what I think I should be able to do. I need to consolidate my progress and build on it, not expect to suddenly move on to the next step.
And mentally, I’m a perfectionist. Which is frustrating as I don’t have the ability to achieve it. It occurred to me today that ever since I’ve started riding again, I’ve been trying to do everything properly to the extent that I’m always aiming for subtlety in my aids. But the main issue with that is that my aids aren’t effective in the first place, so there’s no point trying to be subtle.
Before I start trying to look like I’m just sitting there communicating telepathically with the horse, I need to work out how to get my legs, seat and hands to send the messages in the first place, before trying to make them invisible. Again, get the basics sorted first then start to work on finesse.
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